Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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