TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
