Capitaan dildo arrescate!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
