god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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