Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
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Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
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My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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