fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
