just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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