ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
