Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
