I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
