If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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