sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
