THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
