he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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