Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
