it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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