It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
