I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
As shirtless as possible
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
