Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
