is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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