David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
