ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
