you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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