He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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