Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
