I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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