So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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