Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
