finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
