So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize