Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize