now i know why i became what i already was.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
