I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
