matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Dicks are not precious.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
