Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
