my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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