That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I party with great urgency now.
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