Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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