Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
