is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
