you win again, gameday.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Be still, my beating vagina.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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