I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
