I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I bet he comes in French.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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