he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
