their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
