i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
mondays should just be called national damage control day
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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