I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
