To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
