dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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