FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
