matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
