whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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