She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
