I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
