its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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