if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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