Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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