The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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