i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you would pick up someone in the library
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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