tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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