I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize
